Thursday, June 19, 2014

I Haven't Shaved In Over a Year* (Except Once)

Men, if you want one tip to immediately make your life better, stop shaving. Shaving sucks on so many levels. Lets list a few.
  1. It hurts. 
  2. It makes us bleed. 
  3. Razors are expensive. 
  4. It's time consuming.
  5. We have to do it frequently.
For all those reasons, this year I stopped shaving. I didn't go all mountain man. My principal would have disapproved. And after seeing the Rocket's James Harden flop all over the court with his hideous beard, I never want to look remotely like him.
Not the man you want teaching your kids.
Instead, once a week with my handy $20 pair of clippers, I would trim the growth back to that nice stubbly phase that you see very handsome dudes wearing.

It was awesome. I saved tons of time and money. My face never bled. And for the first time in my teaching career, someone wrote graffiti in a textbook not insulting me, but praising my physical appearance. 

Some strange sense of professional obligation did lead me to shave once around January. I felt weird. I looked weird, like turtle out of his shell I thought. Worse, the disapproval from my students was unanimous. They confirmed my early feelings by telling me "you look weird" so many times I lost count.

So guys, give it a try. Might be the best decision you make this summer.

(Women, I know you have it worse. But I am in no way comfortable or qualified to offer you any advice.) 

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