On a walk, Winston started pooping in someone's lawn. So I drug him to a field across the street, and holding his leash he began his poop spins.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed. Answering the text I didn't even notice it. Slowly I became aware of the faintest sensation of something on my foot. Something barely noticeable, as if it had been heated to near body temperature. I looked down and saw it. A turd. On my foot.
Triumphant, Winston walked the rest of the way home with his head held high.
Then he taunted me with this face.
Next time it'll be more than your foot!