Sometime, especially around people I don't know well, I can be awkward. Things might not appear awkward, but I feel awkward. I don't know what to say or worry what people will think of me. All you introverts probably know what I'm saying.
One thing that's bummed me out lately is my lack of rapport with my collegues. My school is small, very small. There is one math teacher, one science teacher, one for PE and social studies (me) and two language arts teachers. Things have always been cordial and professional, but never felt like I really clicked. The lunch room jokes and hijinks went on with me as a bystander. And that's no fun.
The other day I had had enough. I think a lot about how it will be on my death bed; what I'll look back and regret, and what I'll say I'm glad I did. Death Bed Me is my wisest self. He sees the worth of actions and things stripped to their core, free of the day-to-day emotion that colors my judgement. Death Bed Me knows I have nothing to lose. He knows that becuase he's about to die, so he wonders why I make big deals out of small things and neglect the big things. I knew he would say, "Why the heck did you spend so much time being awkward. Just be yourself and love people!"
What did I have to lose? It's May. I've been with these people since August. Things should be more comfortable!
So at home I put on my white board among my goals "Be the best teacher/coworker ever. " And if you don't think that the power of positive thinking is real, it is.
Long story short things have been great. People I felt might have disliked me only a few weeks ago I know spend lunch laughing with. People have come by my room just to shoot the breeze. It's amazing how a little self confidence can change your life.
So ask your Death Bed Me what he/she would change and get some self confidence of your own. What do you have to lose?
One thing that's bummed me out lately is my lack of rapport with my collegues. My school is small, very small. There is one math teacher, one science teacher, one for PE and social studies (me) and two language arts teachers. Things have always been cordial and professional, but never felt like I really clicked. The lunch room jokes and hijinks went on with me as a bystander. And that's no fun.
The other day I had had enough. I think a lot about how it will be on my death bed; what I'll look back and regret, and what I'll say I'm glad I did. Death Bed Me is my wisest self. He sees the worth of actions and things stripped to their core, free of the day-to-day emotion that colors my judgement. Death Bed Me knows I have nothing to lose. He knows that becuase he's about to die, so he wonders why I make big deals out of small things and neglect the big things. I knew he would say, "Why the heck did you spend so much time being awkward. Just be yourself and love people!"
What did I have to lose? It's May. I've been with these people since August. Things should be more comfortable!
So at home I put on my white board among my goals "Be the best teacher/coworker ever. " And if you don't think that the power of positive thinking is real, it is.
Long story short things have been great. People I felt might have disliked me only a few weeks ago I know spend lunch laughing with. People have come by my room just to shoot the breeze. It's amazing how a little self confidence can change your life.
So ask your Death Bed Me what he/she would change and get some self confidence of your own. What do you have to lose?
