Cliches Exist for a Reason

Cliches become cliches because we use them too much.  A quick Google search of common cliches gives me a few of the following

1. Actions speak louder than words
2. The grass is always greener on the other side
3. There's no time like the present

Gambit.  Not cliche.  Dude is original.

You hear them so often they lose their power  But there is truth to them, as I've recently found that out with this well-used motto/cliche "Just Do It."  I've been bombarded with this message since I could read.  I've paid a premium to wear it across my chest and on my feet.  Yet, in practice I rarely "Just Do It."

I plan it.  I write goals  I dream it.  But doing it?  Doing it is hard.  I suppose this proves the truth to "Actions speak louder than words."

Example: One goal of mine has always been to be more physically fit.  When I see pictures of myself in high school and college when I was an athlete I'm suprised at how fit I look and immediately look down to admire my figure.  It's then I find the belly I've grown.  Once clearly defined abs have turned into a little blob.  It makes for a depressing then-and-now juxtaposition.  Luckily, depending on how my stomach rolls on itself when I sit, sometimes the creases do appear like a six pack.

I intended to get in shape.  I have for years.  Nearly every day this school year I set my alarm 30 minutes early so I could work out.  And nearly every day this year I hit snooze.  I wanted it, just not enough to do anything about it.

A very unflattering mirror-lighting combo in a G.H. Bass changing room provided the catalyst I needed.  The mix of disgust and anger I felt looking at my pudgy self pushed me from wanting it to doing it.  I stopped hitting the snooze button, and got up early to run and lift.  I changed my diet, loading up on fruits and vegetables, and giving up processed sugar.  Same goes for fast food.  In a short two weeks I've slimmed down noticeably and have had way more energy. My mood has improved, my stamina has increased, and as my belly recedes I can almost make out an abdominal muscle or two.

More than anything, it feels great to accomplish something I've been wanting for so long.  And looking back, the part of this that seems so strange to me is this: the only thing getting in my way was me.  Our own inaction obstructs so many of our goals.  Nike knew what they were saying.

10 Years: Never Let Fear Dictate Anything

Now that I'm 30, I'm on a plan to guide the next 10 years of my life.  I've set out a number of principles I want to live by.  Number 4:  Never let fear dictate anything.

Fear and a lack of ability are the greatest culprits that limit the course of our life.  One we can't do anything about, but one we can.

Lets look at lack of ability.  Each of us has a certain level of natural talent in any given area, like singing, basketball, or art.  We can hone and improve these abilities, but will eventually run into the ceiling of what we can accomplish.

Example 1:  No matter how hard I put into my basketball game, I will never be able to touch LeBron James on the basketball court.  This is an assumption, because I never attempted to become a professional basketball player.

Example 2:  No matter how many singing lessons I take, I will remain a terrible singer.  This is a fact, because I have taken singing lessons, and was even the lead singer of Christian rock band(!) in college.  We were awful, and I am largely to blame.

These are God given limitations and I don't feel bad for them.  I am who I am.  I'm good at other things, like playing video games, or reading quickly.   And even though my Christian rock band sucked in nearly every way a band can suck, it was still a really awesome experience, one I would never trade.

Yes, the singing was terrible, the guitars hit more wrong notes than right notes, and our drummer was more into anime than being a drummer.  We still played shows in front of hundreds of people.  We made a demo CD that people actually bought.  Kids asked us for autographs.  Somewhere, some kid who is probably off to college now has a CD signed by me stuffed in some drawer.

I actually feel a little guilty that someone paid money for my CD, so if you happen to own an Again United CD, I will refund you $3.

Fear is a different beast.  Fear kills experiences before they ever happen.  Fear turns failure from a life enriching learning experience into an all-consuming boogie man.  Fear must be avoided.  Failure must be embraced.

Fear of failure can keep us from so many great things in life.  And worst of all, when you don't try something because you were afraid, for the rest of your life you'll never know what might have happened.  I don't want to be laying on my Death Bed wondering if I ever could have been a rock star.

I've applied this in other areas of my life.  I started a business at age 23.  It failed, but morphed into a non-profit that did a lot of good.  I plan on taking the lessons from my first business and hope to start another one at some point in my life.

And I've failed to do this in other areas of my life.  Take my wonderful girlfriend, who nannies at the school where I teach.  The first time I saw her she literally took my breath away, she was so beautiful.  I literally walked past her every day for a year, and never got the nerve up to say hi.   Day after day I walked by her, my courage wilting and words sticking in my throat.  Then summer came and I saw her no more.  I kicked myself for that, but luckily got a second chance when met by chance at a local festival.  But we don't always get second chances.

If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.  We all have dreams and aspirations that we're afraid to even say aloud because they seem so unlikely.  Say them.  Dream them.  Do them.  You might fail, you might succeed, but you will never know if you don't try.

10 Year Plan: Do One Thing At A Time

Sunday, I wrote out the 6 core beliefs that I'm trying to focus the next 10 years of my life around.  Here they are:

1. Anything worth doing will be hard.
2. Do one thing at a time and one thing only.
3. Where you spend your time is who you are.
4. The most important people in my life are the most important thing in my life.
5. Never let fear dictate anything.
6. Money is a tool.
7. Billionaire moments are everywhere.

Second on my list: Do one thing at a time.

Humans are not capable of multi-tasking.  I know this because I've read it before.  Yet still I persist in trying to do more than one thing at a time, as if I've taken some evolutionary leap and the rules don't apply to me.

My experience fits what I've read.  When I try to do more than one thing at a time, I end up doing nothing.  The biggest culprit for me is my phone.  Literally, as I type these words, I want to grab it and read my Twitter feed.  Basically anything that glows attracts me like a moth.  Phone, TV, computer, all irresistible.  Perhaps I'm a product of my generation, but I feel  can only devote about 5 minutes to something before I seek distraction elsewhere.

To be more productive and achieve my lofty goals (which I'll post at the end of this series), I am trying to simply Do One Thing at a Time.  It sounds simple, and it is.  The benefits of focusing entirely on the task at hand are enormous.  First of all, the task gets done . Second, living in the moment is the only logical way to live.  We only get each moment, each minute, each day once.  Why live it distracted?

When I look at all the things I wish I had more time for, writing and working out mainly, I sometimes wonder how much I could get done if I devoted all my phone time to one of those tasks instead.  If I am normal for the millennial generation, it's arguable that I spend more time on my phone than doing any other particular thing throughout my day.  That's sad.  No one wants to look back at a life lived through a 2 inch by 5 inch screen.

It's hard to make new habits, and this has been my hardest habit to break.  I'm trying to leave my phone in my pocket more, and better yet at home.  I try to not mindlessly surf the web when I have work to do, or when I'm writing.  I try to live entirely in the moment.  It's not going to be easy, but more than anything else I attempt to do in the next 10 years of my life, doing one thing at a time will do the most to help me achieve my goals. 

10 Year Life Plan: The Long Term vs Short Term View of Life

The age of 30 has given me a little longer view of life.  Until recently, the "future" seemed distant and hazy.  The age 30 itself seemed old and scary.  I felt an urgency to do things now, and lived my life accordingly.

In some ways that's good, as I've certainly experienced a wide variety of things.  Between the ages of 19 and 23 I started a band, started a business, and lived overseas.  None lasted longer than a year, though

As a member of the instant gratification generation has brought some predictably bad results too.  Take financially, where rather than taking the slow and steady route, I've bounced around some get rich quick ideas ranging from the idiotic (I'll count cards in blackjack just like the MIT guys), to the arrogant (I can play the stock market like Bradley Cooper in Limitless!).  All have been expensive.

Recently a 70 year old relative came to visit.  You never have guessed he was 70.  He is mobile, active, and strong.  He just retired, and talks about all of his life's ambitions.  I had him pegged in the early 60's, until I found out otherwise.  He got me thinking, if all goes well, I have at least 40 good years left!  Then I asked myself this question: 

Knowing what I know now, and starting from where I am now, what do I want to do in 40 years?

*Now of course "if all goes well" is a pretty major caveat. I just watched Titanic, so I won't tempt fate and presume anything past today.  

"Unsinkable, eh? Mwahaha"

As I tried to answer that question, I was surprised that I couldn't.  At all.  The only answers I had were incredibly generic:  "Have kids" and "Be a billionaire!" 

Looking at my life more closely though, that doesn't surprise me.  I don't have direction or a plan, and instead have momentum from living day to day.  At age 23 I became a teacher, and have kept with it because I love it.  At age 26 I moved into a house, because I could.  At age 29, I found my wonderful girlfriend because I finally got the courage to talk to her after chickening out for over a year (true story).

Frankly, I think it is and was OK for me to not know everything I want out of life.  I don't want to live off some script.  Many of the best friends and experiences I have in life have come from unplanned and unexpected circumstances.  And especially when I was younger it was important to find my place in the world, so to speak. 

Now that I'm 30, I've figured out a lot more about what I believe in and who I want to be.  I've laid out at 10 year plan for myself, organized on the following six beliefs about life:

1. Anything worth doing will be hard.
2. Do one thing at a time and one thing only.
3. The most important people in my life are the most important thing in life.
4. Never let fear dictate anything.
5. Money is a tool.
6. Billionaire moments are everywhere.

Over the next week I'll be explaining each, then I'll share my 10 year plan at the end.